the why

2017 was really bad. Suicidal bad. It was October of last year that I reached out for help (beyond loved ones) from psychiatrists.

My mental health is always tipped in one of three ways:

  1. Borderline Personality Disorder

My Subtypes:
Discouraged
Impulsive
Petulant
Self-Destructive

More about BPD here.

  1. Body Dysmorphic Disorder

More about BDD here.

  1. Bipolar Disorder

Type: Bipolar Disorder II

More about Bipolar Disorder here.

I want to document my treatment for body dysmorphic disorder. It used to be bearable but it has become all consuming. I wish I had been documenting from day one, over a year ago.

The BPD and the BDD are constantly dancing with each other, feeding each other. I decided BDD was the first thing I should address and go from there because borderline personality disorder heavily contributes to self-image issues.

This isn’t going to be easy and I am going to try my best to be brutally honest – it may take me a bit to get there though. Childhood, relationships, and past traumas are where I will focus as well as my treatment for BDD which includes exposure therapy.